It is easy to be frustrated with a student, to cast blame, to express disbelief at what a student did or did not do.

“Doesn’t he ever listen?” “Can you believe she did that?” “He is so disrespectful!” “She was acting like a __ year old!” “I have told him over and over again but he still doesn’t understand.” “So irresponsible!””She doesn’t listen to me!”

Stop. Ask yourself, “What can I do differently? How can I help him learn the skills of listening, acting respectfully, being responsible, cooperating, and self-control?”

We weren’t born knowing how to be respectful, how to be responsible, how to cooperate. We learned those skills. And if we can learn them, we can teach them.

Imagine hearing this, “I tell him everyday to go and sit at the piano and play but he still can’t play Ode to Joy. He doesn’t play anything! He doesn’t listen!” That’s crazy. We would never expect a child to play the piano without being taught the skills. Yet everyday we expect children to know how to listen respectfully or show amazing self-control without ever teaching them what that looks like and sounds like.

Some children learn these skills quickly and easily, others need more practice.

Take the time, teach the skills.